1. Your gym bag now consists of a yoga mat, foam roller, a singular racquetball, a pair of 8 inch pleasers, booty shorts, thongs, an assortment of grip aids & thigh highs.
  2. Pedeggs are now more useful on your hands then your feet.
  3. Summer = booty shorts and winter = leggings.
  4. You’ve gotten a part time job to support your newly acquired shoe addiction.
  5. You have to seriously concentrate on moving ‘appropriately’ when standing or picking something up from the floor in public.
  6. Your child’s skill on the playground equipment now evokes raised eyebrows from teachers & other parents.
  7. Your own behavior on the playground equipment captures the undivided attention of onlookers.
  8. You’ve been handed a battered women leaflet from a concerned citizen.
  9. Oil & lotion are now swear words.
  10. You can carry all of your groceries in with one to two trips.
  11. Your significant other asks you to open the pickle jars.
  12. Your spouse/roommates no longer show concern when hearing a loud thud followed by an expletive or groan.
  13. You’ve developed an amazing talent for drawing stick figures (all on a pole of course).
  14. Lamp posts, street signs, scaffolding, flag poles & trees are now nearly impossible to simply pass by without climbing.
  15. You now take measurements in millimeters.
  16. You wear your bruises like metals of honor eagerly ready to share the story of how you acquired them to anyone willing listen.
  17. Epsom salts have become a staple item on  your grocery list.
  18. You schedule life events around your bruising.
  19. When anyone asks you ‘what’s new’ you automatically think of your latest pole accomplishment.
  20. You now own more sports bras then regular bras.
  21. You have a newfound addiction to YouTube videos.
  22. You have to explain to your gynecologist (or doctor) why you are covered in bruises and reassure them that it is indeed not spousal abuse.
  23. You have more pole related playlists then regular music artist playlists.
  24. You secretly wish you could wear your dance shoes instead of your ‘street heels’.
  25. Your dance shoes are in better condition then your street shoes.
  26. Your home now includes an overstock of furniture in every room (except one) because you’ve dispersed the contents of one room throughout your entire home in order to create a pole room.
  27. Your carpets have been replaced by hardwood.
  28. No room or space is free of your scrutinous imaginary removal of all the furniture, ceiling height & pole placement check.
  29. Pleather is no longer a bad word.
  30. You consider the opinion of your mailman when consistently receiving packages from senders like ‘Pleasers’, ‘X-Pole’, ‘Bad Kitty’ & ‘DiscountStripper.com’.
  31. A new song can send you into a running panic in search of a pen & paper.
  32. Every song immediately get’s mentally rated for pole compatibility.
  33. You’ve begun cross training in contortion, silks, acrobatics or some other activity simply to improve upon your pole skills.
  34. You no longer paint your toenails because dancing immediately wears off the polish.
  35. You’ve never taken better care of your body.
  36. You’ve discovered you can acquire calluses in interesting places.
  37. You are fearful of the common cold/flu or injury because it will keep you off the pole.
  38. Your significant other is no longer interested when you are going to ‘work out’.
  39. Your friends, activities, schedule & priorities are nothing like they were pre pole.
  40. You can admittedly get a little psycho when someone adorning rings and/or bracelets begins touching your poles.
  41. You’ve answered your door in your pole clothes simply out of spite of being interrupted.
  42. Guests are visually disturbed by the amount of mirrors in your home.
  43. Your chick tool-belt consists of sets of specialized allen wrenches, levels, lube & alcohol.
  44. You have a larger assortment of grip aids then body lotions.
  45. Your pets and/or children have come to understand the radius of your extension while poling.
  46. You’ve spent any amount of time trying to convince someone that pole dancing is different then stripping.
  47. You find your daydreaming now consists of creating new pole combos.
  48. Leaving town now includes tracing down a local studio or packing up your pole & luggage now also includes a foam roller and an assortment of pole/stretch wear.
  49. Your male friends challenge you to arm wrestling matches.
  50. And last but not least… your ceiling is adorned with shoe scuff marks.

Happy Poling!!

‘Ava